Doing better

We're doing better here. I can't believe the girls are eleven days old today! Where has the time gone?

Rose lost her umbilical stump yesterday. I'm so glad! We've been doing t-shirts under their sleepers, but we can easily do onesies now. :)

The girls are doing so well with their eating. For the first week I'd feed one, switch sides and feed her again, then pass her off to MusicalDad to supplement while I fed the next one on both sides. Then I pumped while MusicalDad fed the second twin a supplementary bottle. It took two hours per feeding. I was so glad when I could tandem feed them--it shaved off an HOUR. We pretty much don't need the bottles anymore, and I only pump mornings and evenings for one feeding. We do supplement at night--after the last feeding around 7 or 8 p.m. and again in the middle of the night. It's purely selfish--we want them to sleep well. They go at least four hours each stretch at night, sometimes more. Last night was more, and it was so nice to sleep longer!

I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. My only concern is that I don't know how to discreetly breastfeed twins. I HATE being cooped up in my room to do it, but feeding them in the double football hold makes everything hang out. I hate being that exposed. Maybe in a week or two we can try the double cradle or something. I'm afraid we'll be using bottles anytime we have to be out in public, since they're on the same schedule and get hungry at the same time.

Any advice for feeding from veteran twin moms?

Overwhelming

I thought I knew what having twins would be like. I just thought of having a newborn times two. I was very, very wrong.

Having twins is so much harder! At least, it is right now. I pretty much live around my two new girls. I hardly venture out of my room (the place where I nurse). I'm so glad I could start tandem feeding on Saturday or so. I couldn't do anything else if I wasn't. Even still, I don't have much time at all. I hardly ever see my other kids. My mom is great about taking care of everything so that I can just deal with the new babies.

MusicalDad went back to work yesterday. He had been my rock--helping with everything I needed. I really, really miss him.

Lily's cord fell off Saturday night sometime. Rose's is still hanging on strong.

I love my girls, but it's such hard work!!! I was pumping after every feeding and supplementing after every feeding. I stopped a couple of days ago and just pump once in the morning and once at night, then supplement the night feedings so the girls will sleep longer. I might have to start supplementing a little more, though. Sometimes they still act hungry after a feeding.

I know it'll get easier, but it's really hard to be in the moment.

Pictures!

Just a few to tide you over. Aren't they cute!?!?

A more detailed birth story

First, let me say that it's very hard to find a Dr. that will consent to an epidural-free twin vaginal delivery.

I was seeing a CNM group when I found out I was carrying identical mono/di twins (twins that are in separate amnions (sacs) but share a placenta). The midwives managed my care, but I needed to see the maternal-fetal medicine doctors for my numerous ultrasounds and non-stress tests, and they would also be in the delivery room to assist with the delivery.

To make a very long story short, my midwives were fine with me not having an epidural, but only about half of the Dr.'s were okay with it. So many things can happen in labor with the second twin, that an epidural is a safety net. Many times they have to reach up into the uterus to reposition Baby B for delivery, and they warned me that I don't want that to happen without an epidural. Also, if Baby B started having problems and I needed an emergency c-section, I would be knocked out.

Fortunately, the head of their practice was a very laid-back, logical man, and he was willing to sign off on no epidural for me. Still, though, three of the six doctors were NOT on board.

Sunday evening, at 37 weeks 1 day, my contractions started wrapping around to my back, so I knew that my braxton-hicks were changing. They started about 7:30. When my husband came to check on me at 8:30, he helped me out of bed and I felt a pop and a gush. I thought my water had broken, but it was blood. I freaked out a little bit, called my CNM and she said to come to the hospital. In the car I timed my contractions and they were 3 minutes apart.

We got there and the babies were fine. The contractions never increased in intensity--I was talking through them the entire time--but they stayed steady and slowly started pulling more in front than in back. After starting my IV (non-negotiable, but I was okay with it), talking with the NICU nurse, the anesthesiologist (just to meet him just in case), the maternal-fetal resident, the maternal-fetal doctor, and other people that I don't remember, we moved to the OR for delivery at midnight. My contractions still didn't seem very hard or frequent, although they were still three minutes apart). I was dilated to an 8 or 9, and even though my water broke three times while I was in the bed, I still had a bulging bag.

Once in the OR, with all the teams assembled (two NICU nurses for each baby, my mom, my husband, my CNM, the Dr. and resident, and at least two other nurses--I didn't count), my CNM broke what was left of my water. THREE more times. lol The third time it was actually Baby B's sac that was in the way. I reverse-dilated to a 6. I was still talking through all of my contractions and didn't feel like I was in labor at all!

I asked my midwife to just push my cervix out of the way during my next contraction and let me push, so she did and I pushed until I felt the ring of fire, then took a break. During my next contraction she told me to push hard, so I did and Baby A came flying out! My CNM has been practicing for 26 years, and she said that's the closest she's ever come to dropping a baby! I'm glad she didn't. Baby A's apgars were 9 and 9.

I immediately grabbed both sides of my tummy to keep Baby B in place while Baby A's cord was being cut, etc. Then my CNM reached up to see what Baby B's position was. She said, "I don't have head!" and moved quickly out of the way so that the Dr. could take over from there. I was still holding my belly and the resident and nurse quickly brought over the ultrasound machine and started using it to see the baby's position. My bed had been upright for the first baby's delivery, but they immediately put it down flat or almost flat.

The Dr. reached in up to her elbow to reposition Baby B. Her arm was presenting first (my husband saw her hand out a couple of times), but she was still head-down. It was the hardest thing to not push when the Dr. was putting her arm back and guiding her head to my cervix. It didn't hurt like they all cautioned me it would. I don't remember any pain. There was a lot of pressure, and a lot of uncomfortable wiggling inside me, but no pain. It was just an overwhelming sensation to push.

She told me not to push, so I repeated that aloud until she told me to push, so I said, "pushing" and she told me to stop again. Finally she told me to push REALLY hard, so I did and Baby B flew out. The Dr. wasn't quite ready for that, either. lol Baby B did have the cord around her neck and didn't cry when she was born. The NICU team had to give her oxygen. She had some fluid in her lungs. Still, her APGAR scores were 7 and 8.

My girls were born at 12:33 a.m. and 12:36 a.m. Baby A (we'll call Rose) was 5 pounds 15 ounces and 18.5 inches long. Baby B (we'll call Lily) was 5 pounds 12 ounces and longer at 19.5 inches. They were only THREE minutes apart!!!!! I was so happy. :)

I asked to see the placenta, and the maternal-fetal medicine doctor showed it all to me. She told me it was the best mono/di placenta she has EVER seen. I had so many people praying for me, and that's proof to me that those prayers were answered.

The worst part of it all was the repair. I had so much edema in my feet, legs, perineum, and lower belly that my skin couldn't stretch and I tore. The repair took about 45 minutes, and I needed two bags of oxytocin after the birth. I officially hemorraged--but just barely. Finally I got to hold my girls and they wheeled us back to the labor and delivery room. There I was able to breastfeed my girls at the same time.

Everything went perfectly, and I feel so blessed. Thank you for your prayers!

My past few days...

Wow--life is CRAZY right now!

We came home from the hospital Tuesday just before noon. I was feeling pretty good. The girls had lost too much weight, so we had to go to the pediatrician on Wednesday morning for a weight check. They were down another ounce or ounce and a half. The pediatrician wanted us to get their bili levels checked, so Thursday morning we went back to the hospital to get that taken care of.

Tuesday night and Wednesday night were really, really hard. I was exclusively breast feeding and they were up most of the night each time. Finally, Wednesday night in the wee hours of the morning I made them some formula in my old BPA bottles. They each only took about 1/2 ounce, but it was enough to put them to sleep for 3 hours!

So back to Thursday--we got their bili levels checked, then went to the medical supply store and bought me a pump. MusicalDad went in while I pulled the girls out of their car seats (they can't stay in them for more than an hour at a time right now) and fed them a little more formula. Then we drove to Babies R Us and I bought some BPA-free bottles and milk storage bags while MusicalDad stayed in the car with the babies.

Finally we got home! That night was such a relief. I was able to nurse each one on each side, pump, and supplement about an ounce each. I'm currently feeding each of them individually, then pumping while MusicalDad supplements the second baby. They get really tired when they are nursing. It takes them a long, long time to nurse, so I'm glad that after they're done they get an easier time of it and take an ounce to an ounce and a half from the bottle. I hated the idea of supplementing, but they really needed it. Hopefully we won't have to do it in a month (or sooner).

Friday we had to do another bili check and another weight check. Their weight was finally up about three ounces!!!!! We never heard back on the bili check, so we assumed we didn't need to go back today.

That's a good thing, because I was so exhausted last night that I just needed to cry for a while. MusicalDad and my mom took the 10:00 feeding because I was asleep and too tired. It was really nice. I haven't been able to really heal from the delivery, because I've been on the go every day! It's been awful. In between feedings I slept in until 11 a.m. this morning. Today I'm in bed for the day, and I'll do the same tomorrow. Hopefully now that the girls are doing great, I'll be able to do better, too.

Each baby's personality is SO different. I don't think of them as twins at all. Yes, I have two babies, but I have two babies, not "twins". lol It doesn't seem real, yet.

I took some great pictures yesterday and as soon as I'm downstairs on my computer I'll post them.

They're here!

Wow--sleep deprivation doesn't even begin to cover it! lol I just finished feeding Baby A and have just a couple of minutes.

My little girls were born before their scheduled induction date. Sunday evening my contractions started. After a pop and a gush that wasn't water but blood, I rushed to the hospital and got there at 9:30 p.m. Babies were doing well and my contractions were 3 minutes apart.

We moved to the OR (as a precaution) at midnight, and my girls were born at 12:33 and 12:36 a.m. weighing 5 pounds 15 ounces and 5 pounds 12 ounces. They were 37 weeks 2 days, and I went totally unmedicated. Baby B's hand came out first, so the Dr. had to reposition her and guide her head down. I was thrilled they were only 3 minutes apart!!!

We came home Tuesday morning. I've been exclusively breast-feeding, but they lost a lot of weight at the hospital and aren't putting it on fast enough. Yesterday they were down another ounce or so. I supplemented with a tiny bit of formula last night (they took 1/2 ounce or less) and got a double electric pump today. We'll see how they do tomorrow.

I will have pictures up when I can, but I'm still having a hard time finding time to eat and go to the bathroom, lol. Computer time is pretty low on the priority list right now, unfortunately.

I need to go--Baby B is ready to eat.

Reflections

Now that I'm practically at the end of my pregnancy, I'm feeling quite reflective. My induction is set for Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about it. My mom comes on Saturday. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

I was really, really sick for the first four or five months of this pregnancy. I almost never threw up, but I felt horrible. It was almost impossible to settle my stomach. I drank a lot of Perrier and club soda. I didn't function very well. I actually don't remember a lot of that time.

We spent three weeks in Virginia and New York visiting family over the holidays. While in New York, I was exposed to an allergen at my sisters' house and had to spend the rest of the time in a hotel. I was unable to breathe and had to use my albuterol inhaler regularly. I also ended up taking an anti-mucus pill once or twice to help thin out my lungs and sinuses. I didn't celebrate New Year's at all this past year because I was in such bad shape. Looking back, I worry about the things I exposed my babies to during that time. It truly was life-or-death, though, and they certainly needed oxygen.

It wasn't until my 20-week ultrasound that we found out I was carrying twins! Because of our trip, I didn't make it in to see my midwife until I was at the very tail-end of the first-trimester screening time-frame. It was too late to schedule the screening ultrasound, so my second-trimester routine ultrasound was my first. I think I really started blogging again at that point. I was in total shock, and was very worried about how this pregnancy would progress.

Well, it's gone perfectly.

I do have some (okay, a lot of) swelling in my feet and legs, now. I've also had days where I couldn't walk or stand, and days when I've had non-stop contractions that were just strong enough to bug me, but not strong enough for much else. On the hard days, it's easy to want this pregnancy over. I do want to meet my girls. I also want them out before anything can go wrong inside.

However, I've never "evicted" any of my children before. I'm feeling guilty over it, I think. Also, as hard as this pregnancy has been, I'm not ready to let go of it. Taking care of one baby is tiring. It's wonderful, and I LOVE snuggling, but it is hard work. I can't even imagine what it's like to take care of two. As long as they're inside, it's a little easier. It's harder on my family, though.

It will be very nice to be able to bend over; to be able to stand up and walk and actually be able to reach the sink. It'll be nice to be able to reach the washer and dryer when I do laundry (right now I have one of my girls stuff and transfer the clothing for me on the rare occasions I attempt it).

Then there are the times that I don't feel pregnant. If you could see my belly, you'd wonder "HOW?" It was 50+ inches around a month or more ago. I don't know if I want to know what it is now. I have stretchmarks on top of stretchmarks, some are horizontal and others are vertical and some go every-which way. Yet, I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm going to have a baby, let alone two, next week--even though I'm nesting like crazy, making sure I have everything I need, washing clothes and diapers, and getting the nursery ready.

Then there's labor. I'm not psyched up for it. I have an excellent medical team ready to go--a team that's willing to let me forego the epidural and have a vaginal delivery. Teams like this are hard to find in this c-section-happy era, and I'm so grateful I have them waiting in the wings.

I've always feared change, and I have a very huge change coming up. I think that's where most of these feelings stem.

Yet I can't wait to hold and nurse my little girls!

36 weeks 2 days

I had another NST today. It was GREAT--I did have to wait an hour in the waiting room ("naughty babies today" was what the nurse said) but my girls were great. We got a quick 20-minute strip and it was reactive and beautiful. Compared to my last few visits, when it was a 1 1/2 hour strip or so, I was really happy today!

I was contracting every 3 to 6 minutes, but that's normal for me. I wasn't really feeling them, but they were registering pretty high. Since Baby A is nice and low, the nurse was hesitant to release me. lol But she did and I know I'm not in labor yet. Hopefully soon, but not yet.

My mom comes on Saturday!

We have a date!

I haven't shared all the drama here. I won't, but just to give a quick background, all four of my babies were born without pain medication, even though my first was acynclitic, my second was posterior, and I needed pitocin with my third (leaking water, no contractions, and GBS+).

After a lot of thought and research, I decided that I didn't want an epidural or an epidural port with this labor. Fortunately, the babies are cooperating and are both head down. The certified nurse midwives that I've been seeing have been completely on board with that decision. Unfortunately, they met some serious resistance from the maternal-fetal medicine doctors they partner with.

Today I had a consultation with the head guy over there who is totally laid back and put in writing that he's consulted with me and has no problem with a drug-free birth!

Now, I could still encounter strong resistance to this plan, depending on who is on call, but MusicalDad is willing to fight the battle for me. Today the CNM suggested we schedule an induction with a favorable doctor, just to avoid the whole fight.

I've NEVER had to schedule my baby's birth date before! It was tough, but after consulting with MusicalDad, we picked July 1st. June 29th or 30th were also options. They were tempting, but the doctor on call the 1st was excited about no epidural, and the doctor the previous days was NOT, even though he was willing to go along with it.

I'm still hoping they come before then, but at least we have a date now! Of course, I don't know how I feel about even having a date...

Baby Legs and an overdue update

Look what I just finished!



I bought some girls' knee socks on eBay, and created these for my girls. I'm so excited to try them out.

I've decided to cloth diaper the twins. I used cloth 80% of the time with Stormie, and I decided for financial reasons to buy some more supplies and cloth diaper these two. I have the fluffiest diapers just waiting in the wings for when they come home, and I have more in the mail on their way here.

Today I'm 35 weeks 4 days along. My twins will most likely be able to come home with me at this point if they were born! I went my entire pregnancy without any swelling until the past couple of days. My feet are now HUGE. These past two weeks have been really hard to handle. I'm getting so huge! It's hard to roll over in bed. It's hard to sit. It's practically impossible to stand or walk very far, and I only go up and down the stairs one or two times a day.

I want to keep the twins baking for a little longer, but they should be okay if they were to come now.

I actually thought last night might be it! I was having irregular contractions for a few hours. Some of them were really pulling on my cervix. Fortunately they went away, but Baby A is a lot lower now, and she's definitely sitting on my cervix!

I wonder who will come first--my mom (who is flying in at 37 weeks) or the babies.